Today is Monday, and I have finally let go of my worries. My mother and my granddaughter's worlds are still turning without me! Miracles never cease! It feels good to realize that I am indeed dispensable. I speak with Mother every day. She says is feeling so well and strong and that she's sailing through chemo this time, which she attributes to her new protein supplements, AS10 drink, and Kifer a liquid yogurt. Mother feels this round is much easier and the affects are lessened. It seems it would be the opposite, but I am eternally grateful for this, whatever the reason. Perhaps it is because her body so filled with fluids and the tumor that was so large has now disappeared. Or maybe it is because she's been there, done that and much of the fear and apprehension has vanished? As I was preparing to buy my airline ticket to return to Atlanta again to relieve my niece, who took over for me last week, I called my sister so she could suggest the best date for my arrival. She prefers to wait until until Mother sees the oncologist on July 8th, because she has an inkling he may stop the chemo at six treatments, which would change everything. Initially, the oncologist went back and forth on his decision on whether to order 6 or 9 rounds of chemo. We want to be safe and not sorry, but if it is his opinion to stop at six, we will celebrate! This means Mother can return home and begin her life again with a monthly trip to Atlanta for checkups. With mother's return home, another concern has surfaced. Diagnosed only two months after losing tragically losing my father, mother's grief was interrupted by the cancer. She was suffering so much over his loss that the cancer in many ways was a blessing! It changed her focus on her grief to staying alive. Following my father's death, I stayed with Mother for a month, and then we met in Scottsdale at my daughter's home for the holidays. In January she moved to Atlanta and has lived there for the past six months, except for a few 2-3 day visits home and three weeks to recover from surgery. Mother has had tons of company during those visits, so she has not really had time to experience the reality of living at home without daddy. Honestly, the cancer was a great distraction for her grief, but now she must face that she is alone after being married for 63-1/2 years. This may be her greatest challenge. Yet she will be so happy to be at home, and as she has said many times, so grateful for the simple of things of life that she took for granted, which is another gift of cancer. So this morning I am reflecting on the gifts that God has brought into our lives through the cancer. Yes, it is possible my friends!1) Distraction for Mother from her overwhelming grief over the loss of my father. No longer was she was able to dwell on his death, because she had to fight for her life. 2) Mother gained an a new appreciation for the simple things of life from driving her car, attending church to working in the yard. 3) Drew our family closer together as we rallied around our mother to provide support and assistance in her battle against cancer. Never before have I realized how important family is, especially in times of illness. When I poured my heart out to my family physician who is also my friend, she smiled, and said, "Susan, your mother is so blessed. Do you realize how many times I have to tell a patient they have cancer, and I ask if there is there is anyone I can call, and their family members are so self absorbed in their own lives, they do not even return my phone call?" This comment was chilling to me.I want to work harder to strengthen my relationships with my family members, even though we do not always agree on things, it is still important to work through the trivialities, because without family you are so alone! 4) Gained a new appreciation and a fresh perspective on our good health. We have never had cancer or any serious illnesses in our family, so we have take health for granted. All our relatives lived long lives and died in their 80's or 90's. We never really realized what others who had problems with illnesses went through. 5) 5) Growing up at last! Even in my 50's I have still played the role of the daughter. When I visited my parents they would insist of taking care of me in every way. I was still the little girl. Now the roles have reversed and I am taking care of my mother. This has been difficult for her to accept, and we have had a battle of the elbows in the kitchen and throughout the house. She never wanted us to help her, but now she has no choice. Although I must admit she still tries desperately! 6) United our church, our hometown and our friends in prayer. My father died so tragically that our entire town rallied around my mother, especially after she became ill. It sort of pulled them together as a community as they prayed for my mother and others. The church now has an email prayer list where you can send in your concerns. They are praying for everyone in the county! The prayers they have prayed for my mother and others is bringing about so many miracles! It is exciting. 7) The grace for dying. Through the cancer, not knowing how things would turn out, my mother has been blessed with an abundance of grace for dying. Our family has been able to discuss death as a normal part of life. Most people fear death but Mother accepts it stoically, and has passed this onto her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. When I took my granddaughter with me to care for her this past trip, Mother told my granddaughter "Please do not be be sad when Mimi dies." She explained to her that Mimi had lived a long and happy life and she was ready to go to heaven! Hailey looked at me and said, "You remember that Gaga, when Mimi dies and don't cry so much like you did when Papa (my father) died." So precious! 8) Experiencing the power of prayer. We have seen so many answers to prayer throughout my mother's cancer journey, and have seen God in all the details each step of the way. It has been exciting and has strengthened our faith. 9) New friends! How precious are Mother's fellow sufferers! We have been so blessed by the women in the chemo lab and in the different groups and organizations. They have lent such support as well as vital answer to questions that have given us peace and relief plus the much needed knowledge. This is a very special community that has truly touched our lives. 10) A better understanding of cancer. Cancer was a thought or word I had taken great strides to avoid throughout my life. But now I know that it is not necessarily a death sentence. There are great things happening in cancer treatments and in the research. 11) Learning the importance of checkups and healthcare. Being face-to-face with cancer has motivated my family members and me to get check-ups, tests and other exams that I used to procrastinate setting up. Knowing the importance of finding the disease early has turned me into an advocate of timely and thorough medical care. I have been poked, prodded, and stuck dozens of times in 2009! 12) The importance of nutrition and a healthy lifestyle. With such good genes and family history of excellent health, I was never attentive to my diet and exercise as I am now. Now I am wisely choosing my foods, and making sure I get the proper exercise. 13) I am reevaluating my life. When you have a family who is facing a serious illness, you immediately considering how precious life is and you consider your own mortality. Suddenly, I am conscious that I am older, and I only have so many years left, so I want to make those years count. I want to get closer to meeting my goals. 14) Strengthened our faith in our God. God has been in every detail of my mother's cancer. He has ordered our steps, and miraculously opened and shut doors to point us in the right direction for her treatment. But the greatest gift of God has been the peace . . . the peace that passes all understanding that he given us, especially my mother. After a devastating few days and sleepless nights, we suddenly felt enfolded by his loving arms, and just rested in the peace that he had everything in his hands. No one wants cancer to afflict there family, but when it does, look for the gifts of it, and unwrap the presents you are given throughout the journey. XOX
